Ok so last night I downloaded the entire discography of Marilyn Manson because I left my CD case containing all of my Manson CDs in Florida, it’s been 4 months since I listened to Manson. The file contained eight albums which is about 130-150 songs (omg) and once again… like two years ago, as I listened to The Speed of Pain, I cried. This is very nostalgic to me and once again, Manson became my life. I felt like I’m in the arms of an angel – angel with scab wings that is. :)
Going to Nassau on Tuesday morning, hopefully I can see Candace, Ava or Angel and most of all, my U.S Green Card. Its October already, in about 2 months I’ll be gone, who knows maybe 1 month, I need to move on with my life because this place is dragging me into a pit of misery. Last night I had the worst dream that drove me in the kind of fear I never knew I had. The dream is very lucid, and it goes like this:
I was in my room; it was very humid, like a cave, with water on the ceiling. It was dark and gave me the creeps, but there was light, light reflections actually, because there was a puddle by my closet. I was trying to figure out why was there a puddle in my room, because I have carpets, and it looked quite deep too because the reflection was shining my eyes. There was a pole next to me; it was a fishing rod, I picked it up and out of curiosity I lowered it in the puddle, as soon as I did that, I caught something I pulled it out of the water and it was… something… strange. It wasn’t a fish, well semi-fish, I can’t really describe what it is but it had a distinct sound, it had the sound of a baby because it was crying like one. I was afraid, I didn’t know what to do but I didn’t let go of the rod. It was struggling everywhere and tried to bite me because the hook penetrated its lips and it was crying loudly, I couldn’t take it anymore, I threw it on my bed and fled the room.
In the living room, my mom was sitting by the table, it was odd, because there was candle light, and before I could tell her what happened she looked at me in the eye and told me that we need to move out of this house its not safe, Jay came out of nowhere and started arguing saying no we will not move out, the child’s fear in me was release, I was on the verge of crying and screaming, then my dream switched scenes…
It appeared to be a long time ago, years ago I suppose, it was in the front of the house in the drive way. A really broken down and scratched red car pulled up, I walked by the window and saw this lady, she was really grumpy and didn’t appeared to notice me at all, there were 2 kids and a baby in the car with her. The baby was crying and it sounded just like the thing I fished up, at that time my fear came right back and I saw the woman beating one of the kids violently in the car, I stood there frozen then I woke up.

Woke up and listened to more Manson

Whats my name? whats my name?
Hold the S because I am an AINT.